'Seeking Asian Female' an anecdotal approach to yellow fever

Marriage isn't easy. Two people who speak the same language and come from the same culture have enough problems communicating and navigating the hurdles life throws in your way. If one doesn't speak the other's language, then the hurdles are even higher. Climbing them isn't impossible, but you have to ask what does each partner get from the relationship. That's something you have to consider when you watch "Seeking Asian Female." PBS screens "Seeking Asian Female" tonight at 10 p.m.

Where, but China, would a 60-year-old white man find an attractive wife half his age? Where else would a 30-year-old executive secretary like Sandy find a husband with a dead end job? Yes, it seems that Steven, who has been searching for an Asian bride for ten years--at first snail mail mail-order catalogues and then on the Internet, is getting the better deal. Sandy is totally dependent upon him and she can't go home for fear of losing face. On the other hand, Sandy has the advantage that most younger wives have over their older husbands. He may not be the best she could do; she might even be settling for now, but she is better than he could expect.

Steven has been divorced twice, has two children by his first marriage and grandchildren. He works taking money for parking at San Francisco International Airport. He lives in a small, messy apartment that is cluttered with photos and notebooks with letters from his possible love connections that have accumulated over the past decade. We don't learn much about Steven as a person from his family or his ex-wives (oh, that would be telling.)

We also don't know much about Sandy. Much of what we know is self-reporting and influenced by director Debbie Lum's own prejudices. She kinds Steven initially more than a little creepy and does seem to want to show him as a loser as Steven himself writes in online forums. The couple despite some rocky moments that are survived with help from Google Translate and Lum's interpreting skills, they are still married and Steven doesn't feel he saved Sandy. You can check out his Facebook page which features a photo of the two, but doesn't list them as married. We do know they marry but have to wonder about the kind of debt this brought on. Steven made several trips to China and his brother lent him money for the wedding to Sandy.

Without the yellow fever consideration, this reality seems very much like Terrence Malick's fictional tale of love lost, "To the Wonder." In that film, we have four languages: English, French, Spanish and Italian. Does anyone really understand the other? Perhaps this romance easier on our minds because the couple is easier on the eyes. The man, Ben Affleck, is clean cut and his character, Neil, has a house. He seems responsible and has a job that promises a future if it doesn't destroy the environment. His love interest, Marina (Olga Kurylenko)  is lithe and beautiful. She has a lovely smile and is happy at the expansive supermarkets in America. The story is told from her perspective and she was previously married. Her daughter is the first one to note something is missing.

Malick keeps a respectful distance from both Marina and Neil. We don't know all of their thoughts nor do we hear all of their conversations. French and English share many words, but not so with English and Mandarin Chinese. Imagine Sandy and Steven's frustration, but look how hard Sandy works to learn English while Steven can only declare, "This is not China and I am not Chinese."  Do you think Steven is making the same effort as Sandy is to learn Mandarin Chinese?


Would it be any different if Steven went to China to live? I have to wonder if it's American arrogance (e.g. I know many Americans in Japan who didn't bother to learn the language), male chauvinism (which fuels the self-help book industry targeting predominately women) or just laziness. She's learning English to speak with his family and neighbors but what about her family? Steven did specifically want a Chinese woman and did actually visit China.

You have to wonder why Lum chose Steven whom she openly states gave her the creeps and made her feel uncomfortable. She says it was because he doesn't have a filter. Over the five years, she might have learned more if she had kept her distance and looked at more than just one couple--perhaps as many as five. Certainly focusing on one couple makes it more personal and anecdotal, but with more than one couple. Lum looking at common problems, found couples who had succeeded or failed or were jumping over the same hurdles. Because Steven felt he was misrepresented and we don't know what Sandy feels, and because Lum spends time on her own feelings and resolving Steven and Sandy's problems, we don't get to know Steven and Sandy through the perspective of their co-workers and family. We both don't learn specifics nor do we learn generalities. Malick's "To the Wonder" with its vague storyline and minimal script allows you to fill in the blanks, making the story more universal. Malick also has a gifted cinematographer (Emmanuel Lubezki) where Lum's cinematography suffers from shakes, unfortunate backlighting (leaving the subject's face too dark) and on the fly footage of herself by herself. 

The story of Steven and Sandy really has yet to be told. Perhaps we'll understand what really happened in another five years when both Sandy and Steven can evaluate their expectations and the reality they found together and can contrast their interpretation of those five years Lum filmed Steven with what they see in the documentary.


The movie won the Jury Award for Best Documentary Feature at the 2012 San Diego Asian Film Festival and the Grand Jury Prize for Best Documentary the same year at the VC Film Festival. "Seeking Asian Female" premieres on PBS on Monday, 6 May 2013 at 10 p.m. For more information visit the PBS website. You can also visit the official movie website. In English and Mandarin with English subtitles.

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